Anyways I've been catching up on a lot of random tv shows thanks to netflix and I've been watching Ugly Betty lol and at first I was refusing to watch it but it's actually pretty funny. Later on the season Betty meets this guy who constantly "forgets" his wallet at home so she'd have to pay for dinner, which wasn't a problem to her, but it was for her older sister Hilda. She didn't like the idea that Betty had paid for dinner/drinks more than once. Hilda believes that guys should have to pay for everything. Betty on the other hand believes that guys shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time because she feels its okay to do so.
So it got me thinking, is it okay to let guys pay for everything? Even when the girls have a job?
There was no better way of asking this than sending a massive text to all the guys in my phone lol and to be completely honest these guys surprised me with their answers. Of course, I'm choosing to let all the guys remain anonymous.
I figured their answers were all going to be like "no no its my job and my place to take care of a girl and blah blah blah" well some of them were but that's besides the point. Most guys said it was ok for girls to pay for stuff sometimes, it was a way of showing affection towards them. Not all girls are affectionate and that could be a way of doing so.
QUESTION: "Are you ok with girls paying for anything?? Why or why not?"
"Ummmm... At first no... Because im sure it was the guy that asked out the girl in the first place. But once u become exclusive i think its ok for the two people to go back and forth when it comes to paying.. I think its a nice gesture for a woman to pay from time to time. Its her way of saying 'Let me treat you babe.' "
"lol of course, I find a little miss 'i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t' girls hot"
"For the most part I like paying but if she offers to pay then I'll let her pay that shows me she has her own money and don't rely on a guy to pay for things all the time"
Then the next.
"Does it make you feel in any way emasculated?"
"well it should and does, but I disregard it.""I feel liek if a woman pays it'll make me feel less of a man at the same time, because men are to take care of the women and children I feel like its my duty.""um yes kinda. I feel like I'm not doing my part. To me it shows that if you can't pick up the bill how are you supposed to take care of her let al one a family."
And the next.
"If she made more money than you would your answer change and would you feel intimidated by her success or be happy for her"
"GF I wouldn't care a crap. Wife I'd be excited as hell for her if the transition occurred after we were married. If shes my girlfriend for a bit then got the big bucks I would feel more like I needed to match her income than be happy for her"
"The last 3 women ive dated make a lot more money than me. But I treated them all the same. A woman wants to feel taken care of. She wants to feel special and catered to.. So until you become exclusive you should treat her that way. Once you get together you kinda become a team. And if she made more money I would be proud to have a successful woman on my team. But no matter how much she makes I will always be the man :). "
I stopped with the questions after that one. It ended up with all the same answers, that they'd be happy for their success and not intimidated at all.
I will not be mentioning any names of any exes I've dated. I've had some that had paid for everything for me because they felt it was their role to do so, and to be quite honest, it felt nice being taken care of. My parents always said to me as growing up you want to be with someone who will not only take care of themselves but you as well. It's a good thing but it's not mandatory.
I've gone out with guys that I have had to pay for almost everything. Down to their clothes, food, drinks, and entertainment. Now I had absolutely no problem doing so, but when it happens for a while I like to think the guy is not only using me, but stringing me along to nothing.
Then I've had relationships to where the guy still paid for everything knowing I made more money. Was it their pride getting in the way? I remember them spending their last dollar on something I wanted and I felt horrible, but it was an excellent way of showing they would do anything for me.
It all comes down to as what can you pay for to not cross the line of being used and to being appreciated. From taking care of someone to doing too much.
It's all a fair game. I fully believe in girls and guys going in half/half, that's IF there's jobs in the picture. If the girl doesn't have a job I feel its obviously the guys part to take care of the girl, he was well knowing that the girl didn't have a job so when he asked her out, he knew what was going to happen.
Now if there was a situation where they both didn't have a job, there would be an issue as to who would pay for anything. It all goes down to who invited who. You can't invite someone to dinner and/or a movie and expect the other to pay for it, simply because that's not having any kind of manners.
It's 2012 and things have obviously been changing there are even stay-at-home dads, and women being the bread winner.
So back to Ugly Betty, it just turns out her new man was a billionaire who always forgets his wallet lol.
Question to the girls now,
How many of you girls can honestly say you've spoiled your man?
"I had to make them changes I hope you understood. You see for every bad I did, I done a ton of good."
