perfect timing

Time.

There's never enough of it. Too much time, is not enough time.

I feel like whatever I do, however I do it, there's never enough time. People, are coming in and out of my life, and I wish I could grasp the moment and just live it. Just live, but I can't, and I wish I can literally take pictures with my eyes because my life and the people in it are beautiful, and I'm afraid because each second that I spend, time takes its toll.

I'm afraid that while I'm living my beautiful life and preparing for my future, that I'm not embracing time. You can never take time back again. Life isn't a movie, where you can rewind, the parts you loved, missed, want. You can't fast forward the parts you hate, envy, had. You can't pause and just live in the moment of passion, and sure as hell can't stop what you don't want to happen. Time happens. Time hurts. Times change.

People don't change people, time does. People, may influence you to change, but it's the amount spent, the time used to be with that person, that constructed you, the way you changed.

When people you thought you've always know, aren't who they really are, or say how they are, it's sad, it's depressing. When people you love, care for, adore, and cherish, change it's almost heartbreaking.

Not all change is good, and not all change is bad.

Everything you've ever wanted can happen in a blink of an eye, and anything you've ever had, can be taken in a heartbeat.

I'm having one of those moments, where I feel so loved, but yet so alone. I'm having those moments where it's me against the world. ONE woman army.

"Whats the perfect girl if its not the perfect time"

Explain.

It's just all so complicated and yet self explanatory. You meet the PERFECT person for you, the one whose perfect in your eyes and everything they say/do is just, perfect. But whats a perfect person if it's not the perfect time? Timing is everything. You have the perfect relationship but the timing was just all off.

Then when its over, no one can ever compare, because well that was your perfect match.

Yeah, I've been there done that. Yeah, I'm still recovering, because I'm stubborn as HELL, and as a friend once told me, my hearts stubborn too.

Loneliness takes over and then you settle for something less than what you deserve, and when you do your perspective on relationships just goes down hill, and in your eyes nothing is worth it anymore if nothing can be as perfect as it was before.

I'm NO ONE to give out advice about relations because I have the most absolute worst luck with men. I'm just writing about my personal problems because since I can't turn back time and change my decisions, I'm here trying to help change your future, but if you're anything like me, you will disregard my advice and risk it all just so you can learn from your own mistakes and not from mine. So be it, I was that girl, look where I'm at now.

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I don't want a boyfriend and this is not my way of saying I want one, I'm simply stating that having a male companionship would be lovely. This is actually the first winter and Christmas I am single.

I don't like being alone because it brings up old memories that should never be brought up or thought of. I wouldn't want to be with someone either just to have some kind of company, because I did take the path, and it doesn't work, you also end up hurting innocent people. I like the thought of having and enjoying some time with someone and not some people as in plural, but someONE is in one person. I'm a one man kinda woman and quite frankly I think being polygamists is too much work.

It's a constant struggle, love yourself before you love anybody else, because if you don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to love you?

Create standards, and just don't fall for anybody, boys are getting trickier but they always forget us women are getting smarter(:

Don't lower your standards just to upgrade someone else's.

This probably has nothing to do with my blog but I just ABSOLUTELY love this song<333 ((: