DAMN. I most deff need to keep up with my blog, and in all honesty ive been semi busy, just mainly being a bum.
I just want to get this out in the open. My blog isn't about cooking recipes, or how great/wonderful my life is, im not a singer, model, rapper or whatever, i dont give advice out unless asked for, im not a God(only sometimes) and im not Oprah. I blog about how Im feeling at the moment, and Im not making you read my blogs, you are doing it all on your own. If you don't like it then oh well, dont read my ish then, but if you do then keep on keeping on reading my ish. You are entitled to your opinion and if it sucks, then im glad youre being honest with me. Im sending out this note because I dont want you to expect nothing but my complete honesty, and my current feelings with a side of emotions. I cant guarantee that youll like what you read, but like I said, youre entering at your own risk. You may know too much about me or too little, but i can tell you what and who i am since ive done a horrible job of introducing myself in the first place.
Im Molly, Im nineteen, I go to school, I work, I dance, I read and write, and I love my family. I have a blog, because people dont give a rats tutu about how I feel, and I can say the same damn thing to you. I feel like I'm cut out to more than just frying chicken and baking french bread on a daily basis, but so far thats what puts clothes on my back and food in my tummy. I eat wayyyyy too much for my own good, I used to go joggin a lot, but the park has been closing down way to early for me, because when I get off work, lights are already out =/..therefore I try to go in the mornings and imma bum, so its only happened twice, but I make up for it, by joggin for like 2 hours. I miss ballet, I might just take a summer course, because I like doing it so much. I tend to quote myself, bc in all honestly i say some pretty great shit that you guys should quote me. I try not to lie, because lying is ugly, and i dont wanna be ugly haha..kidding(kinda) I also hate introducing myself because I dont know what to say to not make myself seem so conceited, and im not, its high self esteem, ive established its confidence. Confidence can get you anywhereeeeeeeee, face it, no one likes a boy/girl with no confidence, its rather pitiful, take some pride in yourself. Youre beautiful/handsome, and if not to me, someone else might think so. Chin up love, the world isnt over yet, we got a year and a half to go(2012). I think I also get wayyyy tooo descriptive when I talk or tell stories, but whats the fun in a boring story? You gotta tell the story like you ARE the story. <- story of my life (: Not gonna lie, i tell some kick ass stories. Oh, and I swear like a sailor, sorry its a bad habit and I try not to say so much as im typing but i just cant. I enjoy art, and I believe my body is a temple, so I decorated my temple with art, hence I have only two tattoos with a belly piercing and a nose piercing andddd my ears pierced. Im not gonna say ill stop there because im still young, i havent been outside of california, and i havent been in love, and i havent actually lived my life the way i wanna. The future holds many paths for me, whether it be long, short, big, wide, bumpy, windy, stormy, ugly, beautiful, or dry, imma walk take my time with my head held high and make sure that I get to the other side, to prepare me for the next road im on. There are only two things that really, really scare me in this whole world. TWO. I mean yeah, woo scary movies, or sharks, or snakes, or pretty much anything creepy, scary, gross factor, but they dont frighten me as much as my daddy and the future does. My daddy is this little man, whose absolutely just like me haha, its great and scary at the same time. The future scares me because I dont know whats in store for me the next day, I always like to stay ahead of the game, but this "future" is playin me, so I gotta play by its rules, to make it by the end of the game, to be a winner.
The other day I was sitting down with a friend, and we were talking about the future, and what needs to be done to be successful. Yet, i had come to realize now, what is the meaning of "success"? What's success in your eyes, and why is it so differently in mine? You're definition of success can be doing your own deal by being a salesman, knocking door to door, and mine can be having a 6 digit salary. Success is what you think it is. Ive been bringing up the topic of me wanting to leave for school up to my parents and oh boy, they are so against it. Then they asked me what I plan on doing with my life, as in what do i plan on doing in the future, since they say im old already(im not even 20 yet) I told them I wanted to be a psychologist in marital/family counseling or in child development/counselor. They simply shook their head, and said no, be a nurse. How are you gonna tell me how to live my life and tell me what to do. Let me say this again, how are you going to tell me how to run MY LIFE. Im sorry only I pull the strings to me, not you, yeah, yeah, you made the stage, brought the audience, and made me a star, but as far as i know I've been doin me for a very long time, without their help.
I cant stand that almost everyone in my family are only doing things to keep my parents happy, and I get it, I would too, but what about my happiness? I get it, your happiness=my happiness, but that only works for so long. I do what makes me happy, and youre holding me back, youre not supporting me, youre telling me what to do, and youre making me sad ): and it hurts because you guys dont believe in me.
You guys already knew since I was born, that Ive always been a little different. I talk too much, I do what I want, I'm motivated, you guys always said I was the black sheep, the odd one in the family, and thats only because i've been doing what i want to do in order to make me happy.
Happiness goes a looooooooooooooooooooooooong way, no happiness, no laughters, no smiles, no tears of joy, would make me a very sad little girl =/ so, i gotta have it!
Friends. They play a HUGE part, in my happiness. But, whats in a friend these days? yeahh i got me some awesome, great, wonderful friends, but there are only a few I know I can count on. Thanks(: yall know who ya are.
The other day my ex tells me he wanted to have my baby. Can you imagine what went on in my head? I wanted to say so much crap and shit to him, but i just started laughing and was thinking damn, WTF was I thinking when I went out with this foo. Have you guys ever thought about that? Ever think about your exes and think, damn i musta been on some other shit to be with this foo hahaha, i know its mean, and rude, and what not, but its also the truth. Now hes all ohh i miss you and what are you doing:) and im like naaaaa we are not starting this shit again, he was probably theeee worst bf everrrrrrrr, and for some reason im not gonna lie, i wanted to be with him, even after we broke up, i missed him and kept wanting to be with him, until i finally realized not much later, that hes a lil bitch ha! So in all seriousness, me and him were through, but I still cared for him as a person, as an ex, as a friend, nothing more, sometimes less. I was probably at my lowest peak when I realized what I did was not me, oh boy, and now that I think of it, he was deff not worth my time, deff not worth it, deff not worth me. Again, its not being conceited, its me being honest.
Haha, so I think Ive written enough, and I promise ill probably get back to this wonderful blog of mine in couple days, no more weeks. Needless to say, you probably found my blog on facebook, soooo follow me on twitter @mollydarlinggg (:
Imma start leaving my blogs with a quote, either by me, or by someone else, just to keep you guys thinking, orrrr if it works, to keep you guys coming back for more(:
"Good things fall apart, so even better things fall in place"
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