stress&&sucess

My life is so stressful right now =/ idk what to do. For about I'd say 2 weeks, I've been waking up due to bad dreams, and it's not your typical scary chainsaw dream or nothing, it's something that has happened, can happen, or will happen, and i'm scared. I am losing sleep and it doesn't look good on me. As of now, I'm just being a little extra cautious, because well honestly, if you knew what I dream about, you'd wake up crying, but me, imma big girl, therefore i dont cry(:

To keep you guys posted on this dance performance, i seriously dont know about it anymore. I dont have my dancers with me, let alone ppl with experience, and I absolutely can't teach them what I know in less than 6 weeks, andddd have them nail the routine i have in mind, i hate to say it, but its impossible, and at this rate, i might not even do the performance anymore which makes me really sad ): but lets face it, even if all of this does work out, how theeee hellll am i gonna pop out a hiphop routine outta my ass? its not gonna happen. but idk what i am gonna do im still debating.

anddddddddddddddddddddd as for school..i wanna leave. leaveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fresno. i wanna gooooooooooooooooooooo, but its an issue..bc if you knew my family and how they are, then you'd understand. idk what im doing anymore, its like im just going just to go..and its not only wasting my time but theirs, and we all know time is money. I could be makin some serious dough, if i ddnt have to go to school and waste my time there.

thennnnnn speaking of money. my job sucks. plain and simple. I want a new job, like a new new job, something diff from what ive been doing for 3 years, andd something that would pay me better than now. Im tired of it, and i wanna leave. I had this job interview thing today, and I ddnt go which now i kinda wish i did, bc it was a job payin $15 an hr with benefits and 3 weeks paid vacation 13 paid holidays and some other ish, and i ddnt go. why you ask me? simple. ASIANS. yeah asians dnt like me, and they lw irritate the eff outta me, and i cant be around asians alll dayy when i got me a crazy set at home lol..

butttt we cant always get what we want ya know..but i can sure hope&&pray that i can(:

i know i got a lot of things going for me but i can only wish and want more, more and more.

but what can i say, other then..

..i jus wanna be successful(: