Girl Power.

So I feel like I need to reiterate myself over and over on this subject.

FEMALE EMPOWERMENT.

I feel like females are taking this privilege on being a powerful female at its advantage.

Remember when, we didn't get a chance or say in anything? We didn't get to vote, we had to stay home and be the good housewife(that some of us still are), we didn't get the chance to have a job, we weren't able to do anything!

Now that we do, I want to say, there is still a percentage of females out there that are still not doing there part.

Females/ladies/women/girls. We are all capable to do anything and everything a man is able to do. Exclude a few things as in, pee standing up, and ya know other things, but you know what scratch that, because there are chicks with dicks, so us women, are able to do anything and everything a man can do, and maybe even better, who knows.

To my dependers:
I guess what I'm really trying to say is, please don't feel like being independent, strong willed, successful, and intimidating is a bad thing, because it's really not. I know, from a few of my guy friends point of view, there is clearly nothing sexier, than a confident, independent successful woman. I see a lot of chics these days, and they aren't going to their full potential, and depending on their man/boy for everything, and I guess, I mean, it's cool to let the guys help out every so often, but not ALL the time. Take a stand, and be your own person. What happens, when you guys don't work out, then you're all alone, and your safe zone, is now no zone, because you now have no one to depend on but yourself. Maybe that's what has to happen in order for you to realize that no one in this world is going to love you, care for you, or be there for you more than yourself. Though, if you found one that loves you more than their life itself, then congrats, you're like the 1 out of 15 lucky females that don't have to worry about getting a job, and being all independent, but mark my words, sweety, when your life comes crashing down, you're going to wish you knew how to depend on yourself than others.

To my small circle of independent women(:
HEYYYYYYYY!(: what's going on? Busy working? I already know the feeling. I stay working hard for the money, as I know y'all do too. I've been working 6 days, so I could just get some extra dough. I'll be the first to admit among many other things, sometimes I feel like just winding down, and not giving a fuck, I feel like I wanna be like these other girls, that get it so easily, then I think about it, and I remember all the reasons why I've been holding on for so long. I guess you can say it's all about pride, and ego, and you can say that I GOT A LOT OF THAT. Also, way too stubborn, I don't like people helping me out, I like to go about my day and be like, yeah, I did that, and yeah, I did that myself with no help. Maybe I'm weird, or maybe you guys are weird, and I'm normal :P

I was raised to be successful in life, I was raised to think that money is everything, that there are only 2 things that makes this world go round. Money, and love. Now, we all know, I haven't been to the love part, but I ain't new around the money-hood. Me and all the presidents go wayyyyyy back since I was 16(:

Any of you readers, realized, that more and more women these days are becoming so successful, so powerful, so independent, and more like men? (:

Men, have always played that part of the lead role, but this is 2010, women are becoming to take lead role. Oh, and BIG UPS, to them single mothers out there, working hard, just to keep their babies fed with a roof over their head, um do you see males doin that ish? YEAH ILL WAIT! Instead, its the guys leaving the girls, claiming it ain't there baby, now lets switch genders, since you're being such a bitch, you need the vagina, and since us females have bigger balls then you, we own up to our responsibilities. Let's get this straight though, I ain't bashing on all guys, just some, and if y'all idiots took any offense to this, well then quit bein a bitch, and go take care of your baby.

Anyways. Ladies, do y'all know that we are the most beautiful and powerful thing out here? Cuz, we most certainly are, we can make anyone do what we want, we pretty much control this place y'all call "home"

Now, since we have so much beauty and power, why do some of you fuck it all up? You make the rest of us powerful women look bad as hell. Do us both a favor, and make all of us proud, and take a part in this female empowerment.

Let's take pride in ourselves, as a gift, as powerful people, that we don't need to be doing and wearing stupid shit. You don't need to dumb yourself up, just so guys think you're cute, no sweety, no one wants a dumb bitch. Leggings are NOT pants, fake purses aren't cute, being a "playa" isn't attractive, and wearing thousands of layers of make-up, doesn't make you any prettier. I love my girls(no homo), and I take so much pride in us, that I spent time to write on this lovely blog of mine, to let you know, what to do and what not to do simply.

I mean, yeah I get it, not all of you guys can be like me(: DUH. It sure doesn't hurt to try though, I mean not physically, mentally, and literally be like me, but be more like me in a way? If that makes any sense haha. I swear, if girls read this, and changed, it would be a revelation ahah.

"Princesses don't drink and do drugs"

I feel like what my niece said was PERFECT for this blog. Haha, and well let's face it, most of us girls do drink, so we can always substitute it for other things, to anything that refers to you.

i.e.

Princesses don't have caked on make-up and call themselves beautiful.

Haha, alright readers, lemme know what y'all think(:
remember this is a personal blog, my thoughts, my opinions, my blog. I can say, and write, whatever the fuck I want, don't like it, then you're a HOE. BYE.

(:

live. love. learn.

As I'm sure all of my readers are aware, one of my friends was murdered yesterday, and I couldn't help but think, has he actually lived his life? Was he able to enjoy it to the fullest? Had he felt and been in love?

All these questions I'd like to ask myself every single day of my life. I used to tell myself, if I were to die tomorrow, I'd be happy, because I've lived the life I wanted to, but I now know that it's not true. I haven't been anywhere I want to be, I want to travel, I want to see the statue of liberty, I want to go see all the of the seven wonders of the world. So if I was to not live for tomorrow, I'd be sad, because I wasn't able to experience all of what I wanted to. Mainly, I haven't been in love. What's living life, without finding, or being in love? I guess, procrastination is a big kick to the gonads too because, what if I don't live to see tomorrow, to do that dumb paper that I put off that should have been done 2 weeks ago, when I was just being a bum at the house, or hanging out with the girls. Life is too short, and not necessarily taken seriously.

So from now on, I'm gonna do things MY way. I'm gonna do things the way I wanna do it. Not only because it makes me happy, but because it's MY life.

I've always been wrapped up to the point where I always had cared about what people cared about me, because peoples opinions matter to me, they help me and construct me and who I am around people. Not necessarily changing me, but improving me. Improving me, to be a better person that I ever will be by myself. Some of you might not care what people think of you, and that's great, but do you really think that? I know deep down inside you, maybe it's the smallest portion, but you care what people think about you. So maybe, if I don't pay much attention to all of those opinions as much, and really just focus on me, my life, and what I really wanna do, then I can really be happy.

So, I'm creating a bucket list. Things I want to do before I die, and yes, I know, I'm 20, a bucket list? Well, you never know when there's not going to be a tomorrow, so live every day as it is your last.

My bucket list will consume, of the things I have done, will do, want to do, and is thinking about doing. It'll be a short one for now, but I will always update and keep on adding some more stuff. Y'all already know what a bucket list is.

THE BUCKET LIST: <-- Original right?

1. Go out of California.
2. Visit a different country i.e. Paris, Greece, Italy (:
3. Dine & dash *done
4. get a tattoo *done
5. get a piercing other than ears *done
6. be somebody maid of honor
7. get a 4/6 pack
8. go to a casino and play Texas hold em poker preferably in Vegas
9. hit the red carpet ONE TIME
10. wants to be somebody reason for living
11. meet a celebrity
12. plan someones wedding
13. be successful in my eyes
14. have an article published in the newspaper
15. win a large sum of dinero


Those are pretty much just a few things I want to do, I haven't really sat down, and just thought about things I wanna do before I do, but those are the ones I've been thinking about pretty much all the time.

What had happened to my friend, has only opened my eyes to bigger and better things, that I should do what I want, because there are crazy things, and people in this world.

I thank God everyday for giving me strength to go on a day, doing what I do. For allowing me to wake up every morning, for allowing me to see my most adored, cherished, and loved ones.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, please live your life to the fullest, because you really don't know when you can be taken away and become one of God's angel, and I love everyone too much to see another taken away from me. I see your problems, and imagine, if you threw all your problems in a pool with everyone elses, you'd wanna take back your problems, because other people are facing either the same or worse, but they re handing it the very best they can, and I hope all you guys are too, and to the day where you can't anymore. I'm here. (: I'm here to help you, either to lend a shoulder, or give you an open ear, or needing a bear hug, using my tissue box, I'm here.

Everyones got 99 problems, but If you'd open up and let someone know what you're going through to let them help you out, then guess what now you've just got 98(: Take it step by step. Or do as I do, and simply vent by writing. I find it very therapeutic. I put on my soothing music i.e. drake(that boy has the voice of an angel lmao) or alicia keys, or some r&b, just something with a soft beat, and it makes my mind run wild, and my fingers don't stop from moving, I just keep typing and typing, and when I stop, I switch the song.

"I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together now"

These are the BEST lyrics I've heard from Eminem. BEST.

"To live is to learn, and love. To love, is to live and learn. To learn is to love and live. LOVE, LIVE, LEARN."

Quote me.

Weighing out the beautiful situation

What are the standards to being skinny? What are the expectations on being fat? Why are their so many descriptions about weight, and size.

What are you doing to stay healthy? Are you trying to stay healthy?

Everyday, I look in the mirror, I stare at myself, I look from front to back, side to side, and see if I would be gaining any more unwanted fat. Now I know, I'm not the only that does so.

Look around readers, I see so many overweight people, that it scares me. I work in a grocery store, and I see what they are doing to themselves. They aren't trying to help themselves lose weight, but gain it! I look at them, and can't help but think, damn, do you not look at yourself, do you not see yourself, and where you are at? I mean, yes it's rude, and I bite my tongue, but sometimes I just wanna tell them, NO, you don't need this 2lbs of chicken wings, 24 pc fried chicken, 3lbs of potato salad, and a slab of ribs. I get it, some people are big boned, but that doesn't mean that the big pooch, comes from being big-boned. I'm just saying. Not hating.

Let's get this out there, I don't think I'm fat, no. I clearly, don't think I'm skinny either, but what I do want to know, what the hell is considered skinny and fat these days, since the obesity population sky-rocketed.

It bugs me, when people call me skinny lol, I mean, I'm really not, but what I hate is when people are like I hate you, youre skinny and I'm not, welllll do something about it. You just standing there eating and complaining your life away isn't going to make you skinnier.

So lets see where this takes us. I weigh 118, and I'm 5'1 1/2"



I'm average. So, if you guys say I'm skinny, I'll slap you. If you say I'm fat, I'll whoop your ass, jk, but really though. Now I'm clearly not saying that whatever this chart says goes, but it's something to look on about. I mean, what am I to say what skinny or fat is. If youre happy being the size you are then PERFECTO(: No one should make you feel insecure about yourself, and you should never feel insecure because confidence is sexy(;

Which brings on another topic. You are beautiful. You are handsome. No one should make you feel any different than what you feel about yourself, and what you feel about yourself should be nothing but positive feedback. Let's face it, no one would want to be with someone with low self esteem, but I rather be with a guy with a low self esteem than a cocky asshole. Be confident not cocky, no one likes a big head.

My mother used to tell me when I was younger that I was this ugly, fat kid, and coming from my own mom, it brought me down so low. That I eventually believed everything my mom had told me. Then one day I decided to just not care what my mom would say about me, because I am beautiful, and what she said about me, wouldn't change my opinion about me. I changed. My confidence had a dramatic boost, and I had lost weight. Now she sees me as a beautiful individual, but being skinny, or thin, or fat or anything considers you to be a beautiful individual.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

"Good looks catches the eye, but good personality catches the heart"

Okay beautiful people, lemme know what y'all think(:

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Hahaha, love that song(:

Anyways, what is love nowadays? I hear people toss, the "L" word around(love, not lesbian) like its the cool thing to do now. Forgive me, but last time I checked, I thought you are only supposed to say it, when you truly, actually feel it, when you have nothing else that you want more than that person, when you would do anything for that person, or is love undefined? What is your definition of love? I'd love to hear everyones thoughts/opinions on their definition of love. I've never been in love, and am not afraid to admit it, I believe that one day there will be someone to sweep me off my feet, and I will be the one holding the broom, so of course, I'd have to approve of this "love".

Now, who am I to say what love is when I've never felt it before, who am I to say, you're not in love (even though y'all have been going out for like 2 weeks), I am a nobody, and again I'm not afraid to admit that as well. There are so many opinions that matter to me and so much more that don't matter, I'm sure everyone is just the same.

I thought I should put in my 2 cents and write a blog on this infamous topic that everyones in and ejoying while im on the sidelines trying to figure out how the game works. Call me old fashioned, but I like to know who I'm dealing with, I'd like to know who they are before I get into something, before I be with that person. Some don't take relationships very seriously, but as my sister said to me, when I was younger, the person you go out with, is pretty much a potential wife/husband. Yes, its very scary, to even think about it, I mean I don't go straight into a relationship and think, YUP! this guys, gonna be my husband, no doubt, we're going to have 2 girls 2 boys, 1 dog, 3 fishes, have a nice white 2 story house, with a yellow kitchen and a white picket fence. No. It's a possibility, I think of the future constantly, and it scares me. If you have been keeping up with my blogs, I admitted that the future scares me, and thats probably the only thing that scares me besides my dad. The future scares me, because I dont know what holds for me in the future, I always like to stay on top of my game, on top of my tip toes, bc well, imma ballerina, we stay on our toes (; no but really, I just like to know what goes on, and without knowing, I just have to be very cautious.

Back on topic. Love. What is it?

According to my handy dandy dictionary app from my iPhone

Love.
1. a strong positive emotion of regard and emotion.
2. any object of warm affection or devotion.
3. a beloved person; used as terms of endearment.

So, when you guys use the word "love" do you think of those 3 definitions?

Love.
4. a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction.

Or do you think of this definition?

Do you love this person because of who they are, or do you just love this person bc of how they give it to you? Do you love this person, or are you in love with this person? Yes, there is a difference.

There are so many different types of love, and I'll be honest I really dont know what they all are, but I do know a few.

-passionate love
-simple love
-genuine love
-young love
-hate love
-forced love

My favorites are passionate and genuine(: I'm a hopeless romantic. No joke. There really aren't that many people like that anymore. Some have their heads stuck way to high up there ass, and some just dont care anymore.

I wish people would take love more seriously instead of throwing the word around, like its a toy. Now, i'm guilty of using that word, when I didn't mean it. I blame it on young love. I think of it now, and it wasn't love.

Why haven't I been in love before, or in it you might ask, well im not going to lie either, i'm scared.

Scared? Yes! I'm scared of love. While, people run head on, with their heart on their sleeves. I kinda, walk taking my time, and not head on, I walk in slowly with barriers and walls all around me ESP around my heart. I'm scared bc if I give my love, my love wouldnt be returned, reciprocated, and I think that would devastate me. That would hurt me so much, that I wouldnt know what to do. I'm afraid to open up, bc i'm not sure if this person that I supposedly "love" is feeling the same way, or just playing me. I'm scared to dive in, bc I dont know if im ready for this. In a relationship, I give my all, and if it doesn't work out, then there isn't that "what if" factor. I'm different from what you say most girls, about this, but I wouldn't say im different from anyone. Though, I will say, not two girls are alike.

All I can say is, think twice, before you say something that you cant take back, bc once you say "love" you cant take that shit back, you cant be like "i love you... naw wait, i dont love you," lol its wrong.

The heart knows what it wants more than what the mind says. The heart does not always want what the mind wants.

"The greatest love, is to love, and to be loved in return."

"The human heart knows things the eyes don't see, and feels things the mind cannot understand."

Now, leave me some love(: