live. love. learn.

As I'm sure all of my readers are aware, one of my friends was murdered yesterday, and I couldn't help but think, has he actually lived his life? Was he able to enjoy it to the fullest? Had he felt and been in love?

All these questions I'd like to ask myself every single day of my life. I used to tell myself, if I were to die tomorrow, I'd be happy, because I've lived the life I wanted to, but I now know that it's not true. I haven't been anywhere I want to be, I want to travel, I want to see the statue of liberty, I want to go see all the of the seven wonders of the world. So if I was to not live for tomorrow, I'd be sad, because I wasn't able to experience all of what I wanted to. Mainly, I haven't been in love. What's living life, without finding, or being in love? I guess, procrastination is a big kick to the gonads too because, what if I don't live to see tomorrow, to do that dumb paper that I put off that should have been done 2 weeks ago, when I was just being a bum at the house, or hanging out with the girls. Life is too short, and not necessarily taken seriously.

So from now on, I'm gonna do things MY way. I'm gonna do things the way I wanna do it. Not only because it makes me happy, but because it's MY life.

I've always been wrapped up to the point where I always had cared about what people cared about me, because peoples opinions matter to me, they help me and construct me and who I am around people. Not necessarily changing me, but improving me. Improving me, to be a better person that I ever will be by myself. Some of you might not care what people think of you, and that's great, but do you really think that? I know deep down inside you, maybe it's the smallest portion, but you care what people think about you. So maybe, if I don't pay much attention to all of those opinions as much, and really just focus on me, my life, and what I really wanna do, then I can really be happy.

So, I'm creating a bucket list. Things I want to do before I die, and yes, I know, I'm 20, a bucket list? Well, you never know when there's not going to be a tomorrow, so live every day as it is your last.

My bucket list will consume, of the things I have done, will do, want to do, and is thinking about doing. It'll be a short one for now, but I will always update and keep on adding some more stuff. Y'all already know what a bucket list is.

THE BUCKET LIST: <-- Original right?

1. Go out of California.
2. Visit a different country i.e. Paris, Greece, Italy (:
3. Dine & dash *done
4. get a tattoo *done
5. get a piercing other than ears *done
6. be somebody maid of honor
7. get a 4/6 pack
8. go to a casino and play Texas hold em poker preferably in Vegas
9. hit the red carpet ONE TIME
10. wants to be somebody reason for living
11. meet a celebrity
12. plan someones wedding
13. be successful in my eyes
14. have an article published in the newspaper
15. win a large sum of dinero


Those are pretty much just a few things I want to do, I haven't really sat down, and just thought about things I wanna do before I do, but those are the ones I've been thinking about pretty much all the time.

What had happened to my friend, has only opened my eyes to bigger and better things, that I should do what I want, because there are crazy things, and people in this world.

I thank God everyday for giving me strength to go on a day, doing what I do. For allowing me to wake up every morning, for allowing me to see my most adored, cherished, and loved ones.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, please live your life to the fullest, because you really don't know when you can be taken away and become one of God's angel, and I love everyone too much to see another taken away from me. I see your problems, and imagine, if you threw all your problems in a pool with everyone elses, you'd wanna take back your problems, because other people are facing either the same or worse, but they re handing it the very best they can, and I hope all you guys are too, and to the day where you can't anymore. I'm here. (: I'm here to help you, either to lend a shoulder, or give you an open ear, or needing a bear hug, using my tissue box, I'm here.

Everyones got 99 problems, but If you'd open up and let someone know what you're going through to let them help you out, then guess what now you've just got 98(: Take it step by step. Or do as I do, and simply vent by writing. I find it very therapeutic. I put on my soothing music i.e. drake(that boy has the voice of an angel lmao) or alicia keys, or some r&b, just something with a soft beat, and it makes my mind run wild, and my fingers don't stop from moving, I just keep typing and typing, and when I stop, I switch the song.

"I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together now"

These are the BEST lyrics I've heard from Eminem. BEST.

"To live is to learn, and love. To love, is to live and learn. To learn is to love and live. LOVE, LIVE, LEARN."

Quote me.