perfect timing

Time.

There's never enough of it. Too much time, is not enough time.

I feel like whatever I do, however I do it, there's never enough time. People, are coming in and out of my life, and I wish I could grasp the moment and just live it. Just live, but I can't, and I wish I can literally take pictures with my eyes because my life and the people in it are beautiful, and I'm afraid because each second that I spend, time takes its toll.

I'm afraid that while I'm living my beautiful life and preparing for my future, that I'm not embracing time. You can never take time back again. Life isn't a movie, where you can rewind, the parts you loved, missed, want. You can't fast forward the parts you hate, envy, had. You can't pause and just live in the moment of passion, and sure as hell can't stop what you don't want to happen. Time happens. Time hurts. Times change.

People don't change people, time does. People, may influence you to change, but it's the amount spent, the time used to be with that person, that constructed you, the way you changed.

When people you thought you've always know, aren't who they really are, or say how they are, it's sad, it's depressing. When people you love, care for, adore, and cherish, change it's almost heartbreaking.

Not all change is good, and not all change is bad.

Everything you've ever wanted can happen in a blink of an eye, and anything you've ever had, can be taken in a heartbeat.

I'm having one of those moments, where I feel so loved, but yet so alone. I'm having those moments where it's me against the world. ONE woman army.

"Whats the perfect girl if its not the perfect time"

Explain.

It's just all so complicated and yet self explanatory. You meet the PERFECT person for you, the one whose perfect in your eyes and everything they say/do is just, perfect. But whats a perfect person if it's not the perfect time? Timing is everything. You have the perfect relationship but the timing was just all off.

Then when its over, no one can ever compare, because well that was your perfect match.

Yeah, I've been there done that. Yeah, I'm still recovering, because I'm stubborn as HELL, and as a friend once told me, my hearts stubborn too.

Loneliness takes over and then you settle for something less than what you deserve, and when you do your perspective on relationships just goes down hill, and in your eyes nothing is worth it anymore if nothing can be as perfect as it was before.

I'm NO ONE to give out advice about relations because I have the most absolute worst luck with men. I'm just writing about my personal problems because since I can't turn back time and change my decisions, I'm here trying to help change your future, but if you're anything like me, you will disregard my advice and risk it all just so you can learn from your own mistakes and not from mine. So be it, I was that girl, look where I'm at now.

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I don't want a boyfriend and this is not my way of saying I want one, I'm simply stating that having a male companionship would be lovely. This is actually the first winter and Christmas I am single.

I don't like being alone because it brings up old memories that should never be brought up or thought of. I wouldn't want to be with someone either just to have some kind of company, because I did take the path, and it doesn't work, you also end up hurting innocent people. I like the thought of having and enjoying some time with someone and not some people as in plural, but someONE is in one person. I'm a one man kinda woman and quite frankly I think being polygamists is too much work.

It's a constant struggle, love yourself before you love anybody else, because if you don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to love you?

Create standards, and just don't fall for anybody, boys are getting trickier but they always forget us women are getting smarter(:

Don't lower your standards just to upgrade someone else's.

This probably has nothing to do with my blog but I just ABSOLUTELY love this song<333 ((:

emotional emotions

BREAKUPS.

They aren't easy/fun to deal with, unless you did the breaking up with, but wait no it's not, because you got the significant other still texting your ass asking to be friends, wanting to hang out. It's quite understandable if you guys were friends before the relationship, BUT if you two just happened and decided to just start talking, liked eachother, dated, and then broke up, please please please please don't expect nor ask to remain friends, because not only is it awkward but it gives the one who got dumped, hopes and faith that y'all will get back together eventually. It'll get even MORE awkward that the one who dumped you found a bf/gf and you're still stuck on em like glue and now you're all heartbrokem. Do yourself a favor and drink a tall glass of get the fuck over it.

GIRLS:

When girls get dumped they either do 1 of the 2.

1. They text/call/drive over to their bffs and tell them all the juicy deets. Some will cry, some will talk shit. Some will bust out the sweets ie ice cream, chocolate, candy, anything that will give you diabetes. They will eat and possibly take all their anger out on their sweets, or possibly even cry while eating it. Some will make the upmost nastiest mixture of "cereal, egg yolk, milk, and juice" to eat. (referring to the movie "the bachelor" no I don't do that shit" Us girls are crazy, don't mess with us when we just got dumped, we'll most likely snap at you. From being an angel to a devil in like .00002 seconds. Don't do it.

2. They text/call/drive over to their bffs and tell them all the juicy deets, and then they say F men they aint shit and go get all dolled up put their fuck em dresses on and head to the club to show him "what they're missing out on" ( -______- )

They take whore-ish/slutty pictures of themselves, get white girl wasted, puts on facebook "im sooooo over you babyboy! im a bad bitch and you missin out!"

( -_____- )

"Im the best you ever had" ( -____________- )

*note they don't they really put the whale face on there, thats just my facial expression to all that boogie shit* Then they get all kinds of fucked up, and grab their bff and be like I love youuuuuu i love youuuu, but i miss him soooooo much and then starts crying ( -___- )

I don't know about the 2nd one, because its kinda wait, it is retarded. Why would you do that? Liiiiiiiiiiiike, I understand you are heartbroken, I understand you are trying to get over him but it's not working by making yourself at a vulnerable stage. What's gonna happen then? What if you meet Mr. ASShole and he takes COMPLETE advantage of your vulnerable mistake, and then he's gonna be Mr. ASShole to Mr. Lastnightsmistake. Don't do it. Every girl takes a breakup differently there is no right or wrong way to do it but do what works, and if you STILL have feelings for your ex after all these months/years maybe he took a bigger toll on you than you expected. Just remember that if he wanted to be with you he would, remember if he wanted you to be a part of his life, he would. It hurts, but it helps knowing that he doesn't feel the same, it'll help ya in the long run.

GUYS:

When guys get dumped it's kinda the same like girls, but on a different level. Guys aren't as emotional as we ladies are. They'll probably just text/call their friends and be like "aye dude, its over." and the others like "want to go out tonight" and thats where it goes off too. or its like "wanna come over and play (insert video game here ___________ )" and that usually works.

Guys work differently from girls, because if they did get heartbroken all they can do is play video games and go out. AND then they meet Ms. HOTolmess at the club acting all reckless because she had her heartbroken, they get down to business and Mr. Heartbroken is now Mr. Idgafimsingle. Guys are programmed NOT to care intentionally unless YOU matter. If YOU don't matter they're not gonna care. Plain and simple. BUT when ol dude was completely in love with you and he's compeletely HURT over the situation. There's 2 reasons to that.

1. He was really in love with you, and you're a dumb ho to leave him. For what? Mr. rightNOW.

2. He's toooooooo emotional, toooo bitchmade, and its a good thing you left him, but don't be surprised if he shows up at your house all drunk talking bout he wants to just talk (true mothafuckn story)

PERSONALLY:

Why yes, yes I have experienced getting dumped lol, who hasn't? I didn't go out and give out that fuck him imma bad bitch attitude. Instead I handled it, I didn't ask to be friends, I didn't tell everyone my business, I didn't get white girl wasted, and I didn't keep in touch with him. It's kinda un-ladylike to be acting like that, and I KNOW I'm not the one to tell you what is and what isn't ladylike but I know that acting like a whore/slut isn't. Now I'm not calling any of you dumb hookers a whore/slut or in fact a dumb hooker, but if the shoe fits, then wear that glass shoe proudly.

Girls are emotional beings, but we're beautiful and we're powerful. We let things get the best of us, even if we say we don't, we let bad guys into our lives, when we know damn well we can do so much better. We make mistakes, and we learn from them, and that's what makes us beautiful. We're human, we live, we learn.

My parents once told me that, they will ALWAYS love me, no matter what situation I have been put through, or put them through. Always and forever, until I find the man that shows my parents that he will forever love me more than my parents ever will, so until that day, my parents will give their undying love to me, and you know what I totally agree with them on that(: Nothing says i love you better than fam[ily] I love myself, but sometimes I don't love me when I put myself through the dumbest shit I know I shouldn't have done. Thats where Mama and Papa Vang comes in, they'll love me unconditionally and not judge me. I STILL to this day, tell my mom that I'm getting sick, and she will search our medicine cabinets to see if we have any medication for me to take haha. She STILL cooks for me to eat, sometimes even does my laundry when I have no time . I even burned my arm yesterday, and she nearly CRIED when I showed her what had happened to me. She looked high and low for all her creams/ointments and her asian remedies haha.

First day when I burned it:

Second day:


Yeahhhh I know it's gross lol. I've seriously put like 5-6 different creams on it, anybody know of any good ones, because this is most deff gonna leave me a HUGE ass scar. Imma tell everyone I got into a fight with a bear. "OMG! Molly, what happened to your arm?!" "oh, that old thing? I got into a fight with a bear *shrugs*" "Molly, you know they're an endangered species right?" "well NOW they are" hahaha I crack myself up. (btw I really don't know if they are endangered, are they? I really should know because I was just at the San Diego Zoo like last week lol)

Halloweens coming up(: What are you guys dressing up as? I wanna be a peacock, but thats IF I don't have to work the next day all kinds of early lol if I do, then Halloweens not happening just like last year "/

btw you dumb hookers its "halloween" not "holloween"

I wanted to share something with you guys, because there are a lot of Insecure girls, and I can not stress you enough about how dreadful it is to constantly having to remind a girl/guy they are not ugly/fat. I mean suuuuure maybe you are, BUT you should always always always feel comfortable in your own skin, no ones gonna love you as much as you do, until you find prince charming to see you past your looks and see whats really beautiful about you, your heart (sooo cheesy i knowww)





He speaks the truth ya know. Every little thought and word i had thunk it processed into a rap. Follow on twitter @traphik hes HILAAAAAAAAAAAAARIOUS. Watch his videos on youtube "timothydelaghetto"

None the less, Im sorry for all the french thats been said, I just felt that there was no other words to explain how I felt than that haha.

"There is a 'lie' in believe, 'over' in lover, 'end' in friend, 'us' in trust, 'ex' in 'next' & 'if' in life. Get the clue and be happy"

just be happy booboo heads! until next time(:

the ends

Everything and everyone just picked up and left.

friENDs.
best friENDs.
boy/girlfriENDs.

Notice how they all have an "end" to it?
Nothing lasts forever. I've personally experienced it.

I have no one but my family, because no one can say "i love you" than fam[ily]

I've been betrayed to, lied to, let down, disappointed, cheated, and yet I STILL walk around with my head held high and a smile to my face.

God wouldn't put anything on your path unless he didn't think you couldn't handle it.

I think my path is full of shit, and now I'm hoping, it'll go on a lot smoother after all the shit I've put behind me, and let go.

I have so many mixed feelings its INSANE, i'm heartbroken, i'm pissed, i'm hurt, i'm alone, i'm hopeless, i'm confused, i'm missing you.

ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!
rip up that voodoo doll of me because I don't see any other explanation as to why im still stuck on you like glue!

Like, you give your all, and then when it just doesn't work out at all, what are you to do? Suffer. That's what. I've been suffering.


This will probably be one of the deepest blogs I'll ever write, because I simply can't hold it in any longer.

friENDs.

The person I trust the most has betrayed me, and now I don't know what to do. The person that knows me better than my own family is no longer a part of me, but intentionally out there to hurt me. I can't even say a story without including you in there. I don't care what happens/happened to us past, present, future you're still my best friend because you simply know too much about me and vice versa. Known you too long, has too many memories to look back on and NOT think of us. It breaks my heart knowing what happened between us and not being able to fix anything and the fact that you're going about your day perfectly fine, and thats what kills me.

What do you do when you're in my situation? What do I do? I put a smile on my face, hoping I go through my day okay,and not seeing you along the way, because I don't know what I would do, hurt you physically for making the dumbest mistake and hopefully laughing and patch things up, or look at you and walk the other direction. It angers me.

boyfriENDs.
smh. they never last for me. maybe its me, maybe i got issues that no one can seem to control. I give my all and when you're all isnt enough then what? you let go. It's silly of me, but one time, years ago, I had received a text message from an ex, a very beautifully written text, which had me balling my eyes out. No one had ever written/said anything that beautiful to me before, so I saved it on my "notes" part on my phone. And on days, I feel not so beautiful I remember I have that note, and I read it over and over again, it makes me feel better, makes me tear up and smile from ear to ear, then it makes me miss him and wonder how hes doing.

"I was sittin here thinkin... And I wanted to tell you that you are tremendously understanding and caring woman.. And I appreciate you as a person.. I want you to know that if you ever need anything, you let me know and I will try my best to help you.. Although I know you are pretty much to proud to ask for help... I want you to know that although we don't have a "relationship" i value what we do have and hold our relationship closely.. You are an incredibly giving woman, not only with tangible things but with emotional support, the things that matter significantly.. You are a beautiful person.. And I'm gonna miss you"

Word for word, its what he said. I did not add anything. It's beautiful. I've had relationships, obviously they ended, but no ones took the time out there day to text me that. I've had different relationships. Ones where they didn't care about me, and I got out of it so quick! Ones where they kept comparing me to their ex, ones where they weren't ready, and ones who were stalker status after the relationship ended. No ones perfect and its understandable, but how hard is it to just find a man who doesn't have extra baggage? One to have such an intellectual conversation with, talk nerdy to me, now thats haute ;)

We all have that ONE ex who you can never ever ever get out of your head, no matter what the situation and what happens. What do you do to get him/her out of your head? What do you do to ignore em?

I personally like to think of my big bright future. I'm marrying a doctor. Blonde hair, blue eyes. We're gonna have some amazing babies ;) and I'm gonna live on top of a mountain alongside the coast of San Diego, and whenever I need to go somewhere I'll get my helicopter ;) watch out, yeah I dream BIG.


I'm not gonna sit here and pretend everything's peachy keen, I feel alone sometimes. Im scared that in the future I become a single old ass cat lady who will never find my hawt ass doctor. ): Im not gonna front, I have dreams of you a lot. I wish I knew what it means by that. Because there would be days where I don't think about you AT ALL, and then BAM dream of you, and then I feel lost. It wasn't no ordinary dream, because if it was, i'd shake it off, but i know it had to mean something, if it was once, id disregard it, but it has happened numerous of times.

"But don't worry I'm okay, because im too busy fixing me to be chasing you around." I jus dnt trust people easily . Until then I'll be single for as long as I need to be.

I guess that's all I had to say. Just some personal stuff I had to get off my chest, and writing always makes me feel better. Friends come and go, family will always be there for you. There will be plenty of boys/girls in your life, but they won't matter until you meet the one who will put a ring on it!

On the plus side. I have a few pictures of the cakes I've done(: which im sure all of you who follow me on twitter already seen them. Oh well.

Dino Cake. His name's RawrRawr.


Boobies. It was a bachelor party.


Dog bone cake. For a doggy's bday.


Zebra Cake. 21st bday cake.



Feel free to place orders(: I'm a newbie cake boss lol, No complaints here(: I'm not saying im the best at making cakes, but I'll try to do my bestest no doubt.

OH! Shoutout to @mymicsonfire and go follow him! I downloaded some songs he wrote and I've been puttin em on repeat ever since! No disappointments here. I wish it was on youtube so I can directly link you guys to it, but I'm serious he's like an itty bitty lyrical master in em! thumbs up! I've quoted something from him earlier.

"baby im too busy fixing me, to be chasing you around"

FAVORITE.

Thanks for reading, while I vent(: Until next time booboo heads!

girls girls girls

helllooooooo(: yes, yes I know, it's been AGES! I didn't really have anything to say, I had writers block, sue me.

Well, let me tell you the millions of things that has been going on in these 7 months I haven't been blogging. It's nothing interesting except for the fact that I'm an auntie of 4, I haven't jogged in FOREVER, so you can only imagine. My hair is growing((: I got transferred, I've been making cakes on the side, so I keep on hustlin even on my days off yadidi?? oh and I guess among the other things, the MOST important is that ya girl is turning 21 in 21 days and is going to..VEGAS!Yes that's right I'm going, and I'm working out, and planning to look extra hoochie that week, don't judge me.

Moving along.

Girls are stupid. Flat out stupid. They leave the good guys for jerks, or go for assholes. Stay with guys who don't want to be with them, who abuse them, who uses them, who cheats on them, etc. Girls think that everyone one and their momma wants their man, when no one would want to touch him with a 10 ft pole. Girls are the FAKEST people, be quick to pretend to be your friend, but quicker to stab your back the moment you turn around. Talk the biggest shit, when you're not perfect either. I know I talk a lot of mess about me, but I got flaws, shit we all do. So PLEASE don't go around struttin your shit like you're the shit, when I know you ain't. Nothing irritates me more than girls thinking they are the shit, when they have NOTHING to offer to anyone.

Let's get this straight. If I wanted your man, real shit I'd HAVE your man. I'd have your man and leave his ass before you were thinking he was cheating on you. But that's not how I get down, so you don't got to worry about your man, boy, whatever. Oh, and you don't even have to come to work to check up on your man if he doing anything with me, he's at WORK. He's at work to work, he's makin paypurrr(chris brown voice) not to be with me, flirt with me, or anything particular.

Don't talk shit, because you're a dumb, insecure, little girl, who can't help but think that we want your man. Grow some lady balls, and get the fuck over it. Get some confidence because confidence is sexy. Get your facts straight, because no one likes a dumb bitch with their 2 cents.

If you don't like me, cool one less person I didn't give a fuck about in the first place, don't go on pretending you do like me though, because it's real irritating. I can give a rats ass how much you like/hate me in the end it's eating you alive on how much it doesn't bother me. Oh, and if you don't want to be my friend anymore just say so, I wouldn't want to be your friend if you didn't want to be mine.

I got the best of friends(: y'all should be jealous.

I get it girls are competitive, but it doesn't mean you get to think you're better than everyone or makes you a bitch. Lighten up sunshine, and get the fuck over yourself(: